Friday, December 17, 2004

The Time of Year...For Gunblades and Summons That is!

Now I know my last couple of posts have been be a little on the depressing side, but this time I promise it will be different. In fact, I'm giving out a guarantee that if I don't make you laugh at least once in this blog, then I will give you a million dollars! (Warning: This guarantee is not valid in the Continental United States, Canada, Mexico, England, France, Germany, North and South Korea, China, Japan, Russia, or basically anywhere where people actually live. Million dollars may actually be just a kick to the groin.)

Those of you out there who know me, know that when it comes to RPGs, I take my sweet time and by sweet time I mean I'll get it done when I damn well feel like it. I have a long list of RPGs in my videogame collection and I've probably finished 5 of them. I just don't have the attention span required to finish a.......OH SHINY!!!!

Anyways, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, RPGs. I bought the game Kingdom Hearts the very day it was released. I played it for a little bit, thought it was cool, and then was promptly distracted by another game. Something quicker, with more guns and explosions and a faster pace. Not to mention the game threatened to kill my goldfish Skippy McFishington. Even though I don't own a goldfish, I decided I wouldn't take my chances. Somewhere around this time last year I decided to get back into the game and was making good progress until New Years Eve when I went partying and woke up the next day in a dog kennel somewhere in New Mexico next to a guy name Steve who played the Banjo using only his eyelashes. After getting him to play "Smoke on the Water" for me I made my way back home. Needless to say, I would consider that a distraction. Now there is actually a point to this blog.......I just can't remember what it is.

Finally, when it came to Kingdom Hearts, I just finished it last night. The game has been out now for at least a couple of years and I finally finished it. I don't know exactly what got me back into the game and to be honest, I don't really care. All that matters is that its done, and I can move on to other games that I've had forever and not finished....games like Final Fantasy VIII. Guess I better get to work.......

Peace out.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Ever Been Slapped in the Face by a Holiday?

Ah, the holidays. That time of year when you go out with your special someone and enjoy the magic of the season. Of course, unless you don't have anyone like that. Then its just a slap in the face.

In my city, the zoo puts on a christmas lights display every year. They do a really good job of decorating the place and a lot of people always go and see it. I've been the last two years and found myself having a good time. But, both years I was at the lights with a either a girlfriend or a potential girlfriend. Now when I look back, the zoo christmas lights hold nothing but depressing memories for me. The one girlfriend broke up with me not long after we went to the lights, and I asked the other girl out for the first time at the lights. Now you're probably wondering why that last one could be considered a bad memory. Well that girl just happened to be my ex, which I mentioned in my last blog.

I've heard on the radio that this year, the zoo has a big section dedicated to lovers and sweethearts and what not. I couldn't face that, especially not when my friends would be running in with their girlfriends, leaving me alone at the entrance wondering why love won't just find me. Those very friends called me today and asked me to come to the lights. When I tried to tell them no, they just wouldn't accept it as an answer. In the end however, I won. Its hard to try and convince someone to do something over the phone when that person has hung up. A moral victory.

To take up arms against love is one thing, but do I have the power to fight off a holiday that throws love in your face, or rather your lack of it? This battle is apparently mine alone, and I have every intention of fighting to the bitter end. I just hope I can win.

Peace out.

Love is a Game. The Players are Crazy and the Rules are Stupid!

Well, welcome to my first post. This should be fun......


Have you ever heard the phrase, "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."? Did you think that it was the dumbest thing you had ever heard? I've come to the conclusion that whoever coined that phrase has obviously never had their heart broken. Either that or it was a 4 year old who happened to string the letters together in a bowl of Alphabet Soup. Whoever it was needs to be dragged out into the street and beaten with a sock full of quarters.

I've always believed in love, but this year things have changed. I have changed. I went from the wide-eyed young man who thought love could be waiting just around the corner to a bitter man who just wants to throw something big and heavy anytime he sees a happy couple walking down the street. Something big and heavy like a 2x4 or a motorhome. Just knowing that those people have found someone they can love just seems to get under my skin these days. The funny thing is, is that I'm surrounded by love. It seems like everyone around me has found their "better half". In my one group of friends, only me and my buddy Lenny remain as the single guys. And it's not like the other guys just have girlfriends, that would be something else, but no these guys are either married or engaged. I'm 22 years old and surrounded by married people. I mean did I miss a memo or something saying we needed to get married as soon as we could? Maybe I should just marry Lenny, he is a good looking guy.....I mean uh.......nothing, nothing at all. LOOK OVER THERE!!!

Anyways, I think I'm getting a little off topic. My view on love changed back in February, just after Valentines Day, when a girl who I thought really liked me.....tore my heart out and let me take one last look at it before I died. Another spectacular Valentines Day into the history books. I don't want to get into details about what happened, lets just say it wasn't pretty...and it let to a big fight with one of my friends who is no longer my friend. I found out that day who my true friends were too and thank you all who came out to drink with me, you know who you are.

"Fighting" basically sums up my love life. I can't remember a single time when I've been attracted to a girl only to find out that a friend of mine stands in the way. Whether to block my path completely or to try and get to the girl first. I have always had to fight for love, and now I wonder why I ever even bothered. If love is supposed to be this glorious feeling that light up your world, then how come all its ever brought me was pain and darkness?

On the other hand, when I sit back and watch the dating scene or anything like that, sometimes I don't feel so bad. I mean love is just a game, a game with the dumbest rules ever. On one side, you get the women who complain and complain that there just aren't any nice guys out there for me. Thats crap! We're everywhere! It's just the nice guys are the ones that the girls complain about their current boyfriends too. We're the "friends". We don't want to be, we just automatically fall into that category. Meanwhile, the jerks out there are the ones getting all of these women. So anytime a girl tells me that she can't find a nice guy, I just turn the other way because it sickens me.

Well, all this ranting has made me a little tired but believe me, theres more.
Peace out.